Putting It To The Test

All of the thinking, the blogging, even the praying - it's all well and good but what matters in the end is what you do. Talk is cheap, philosophy is even cheaper, it's action that says what you really believe.

I've written here about Morgan's challenge to choose Character over Kingdom and that line has stuck in my heart like a fish hook for years, asking its poignant question here and there, challenging the world's way of doing things and, in fact, my own.

But it's not common that life presents its questions in such a clear equation. Typically the water is muddy and it's not always clear what choices were really making.

I have such a choice before me. I committed to be a counsellor at a Young Life camp this coming week. It's pretty low key as the camp does most of the work but other adults are there to be a familiar face and facilitate conversations that we all hope skew toward Christ. Yesterday I got news that a big contract we've been bidding on was likely to to fall our way but I would be personally required to attend a kick off meeting in LA right in the middle of camp.

My default mode is "problem solver" and I instantly started thinking of ways to make it work. Maybe I could fly out of Redmond on a red eye, have the meeting, and be back before the dinner bell rang..maybe I could Skype in...maybe this, maybe that, maybe  maybe  maybe. It had that gut-churning urgency to it that always signals the rushrushrush of the Devil. But after looking at a variety of options I couldn't find anything that was at all realistic - I had to choose.

Being forced into such a choice deeply irritated me but at first I just felt put-upon. So I was feeling inconvenienced but it seems to me that given the significant size of the contract (~$250,000) I really had no choice but to cancel my trip to camp and tend to business.

But as the immediacy of the thing wore off and I started to settle back into a thoughtful, prayerful place I began to see it differently.

I was being asked to break my word for money.

...

Years ago, when we were just starting Soma Games and we were spending a lot of time praying it out there was one particular thought that really stuck out: God was looking for people who couldn't be bought. Things are really starting to look up for Soma right now and I'm very excited but I realize that just as victory on that effort is at hand, here comes a temptation to be bought. Sure the price is higher than it would have been a few years back, but it's the same old temptation - it even comes in the form of a Christian gig with Christian men I know and respect which only makes it all the more sinister.

(To be clear, these guys didn't know my situation when they asked me to make the meeting - nobody was deliberately putting me in a pickle, it's just the way the calendar worked out.)

Once I saw what was really being asked of me, once I saw it in terms of honesty, integrity, and the filthy lucre my choice became clear enough - but it's a scary one. I think there is a better than 50/50 chance that a decision to keep my seat at camp will cost us a seat in this project, but if it went the other way, if I chose money over keeping a promise, then all this stuff here and at bootcamp would be proved a lie and I just can't go that way.

Lord willing, it will all work out. But nonetheless, I choose character over kingdom today - and I think that's what the test is about.